We get told that everyone has a purpose in this life; we need to find it. Be who you are. Most of the time, many people do not know what that purpose is because we are sleepwalking through our lives. We get all caught up in the expectation from ourselves, family, friends, and society that we confine ourselves to the four walls we built to protect ourselves from the stress that puts on us. The stress is growing like wild weeds in your backyard. Some of us want to fit in, walk in the popular crowd, and place masquerades on ourselves when we need just to be ourselves.
According to Clearue Health, if you want to live longer, find something to live for; we need to figure out what makes us unique. What makes us happy, not our family or friends. We cannot worry about what society may think about us. Get rid of the expectations and feed yourself with experience and knowledge.
So, I must ask you, would you answer yes to the person in the Mirror? Or would you pick at yourself, piece by piece, until you find the perfect reason not to love you? Would you talk yourself into believing you are not good enough? We continuously talk ourselves into and out of many things because we want to measure ourselves up to somebody else who could find their way.
You can see all the potential you wish in the person, but without action, you will be a person with lots of promise and problems because you settled, and what you decided for hasn’t made you happy. But get caught up in our daily lives that we tend to have the time to course-correct our path toward happiness. We don’t have a backup plan.
When you have a steady job and income, you stop playing the “what if” game with yourself.
- What if I get laid off? What will I do next?
- Do I want to stay in the same industry? What is my skillset?
- What do I like to do, and does this current job fulfills it?
I stopped asking myself questions because the money was rolling in. So, after I got laid off, I had to start over. Start asking myself those questions that I avoided or felt like I was too busy with life to answer.
Sometimes life will kick you right in the ass to push me in another direction. And I still didn’t listen. If you had to ask yourself to marry you, would you say yes? I would say, No! Because I am financially unable to bring anything to the table. I still have some growing to do. I need to change some of the definitions of the words:
Who am I among these words? I have lots of work to do, but the mirror image is getting pleasant by the day. Success comes first in mind; therefore, I must change my mindset. I must care love myself first to want better for myself. Then I must figure out which direction I am headed and make room for change.
When mother nature once and a while gives us a touch of spring in winter. Too much rain, in the summer, bringing in mayflowers‒society gets confused about playing the should I or should I not wear a jacket game. We have problems reorganizing our closets, putting away all the summer clothes in the fall, even though we are still touching spring. However, when it comes to our lives, we are fooled. What is the shame in reorganizing your life like you reorganize your closet? Shed the heavy baggage for a less complicated life.
Sort through your negative attitude and behaviors to adjust to the good life. How can real change happen if you are constantly walking in the negative? Speak positively and allow positivity to shine through your actions.
Network and associate yourself with people on your level. Today, people tend to associate you with your friends. If the people around you are not trying to better themselves, they will think you do not want to better yourself.
Open the doors and live life. We all know the world is our oyster, but it goes farther than your neighborhood. Indulge in diverse cultures. Allow your eyes to see, your mouth to taste, your mind to absorb, your hands to touch, and your heart to feel.
Let the change happen. Don’t fight it. As time goes on, we evolve. You must choose which way you will grow, positively or negatively, but you must choose.
Which direction are you headed? Choose a path and take ownership of that choice.
Like Tyra Banks says, “Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It’s about accepting all of yourself.” Sometimes we stop beating ourselves up when we don’t have the answer right away. Or, when we take a wrong turn, we are not where we expect ourselves to be because of societal pressures. We drag ourselves through the mud, not realizing that self-hatred internalizes our bodies and makes us sick.
We need to complete our self-work continuously. Set goals for ourselves:
- Short-term goals
- Long-term goals
- Generational goals
Many of us have been working to achieve that American Dream, but we don’t realize that the American Dream might mean something different to me than to you. You might learn, I am not the house type. You are not the type that wants to mow the lawn; therefore, buy a condominium. Figure out who you are. Understand that you are flawed, but you are going. Keep asking yourself questions and acting toward your goals. Manifest the life that you want to have.
- Are you waking up and saying the affirmations you need to better yourself?
- Are you or did you already create a budget for yourself? So, you can know what you can and cannot spend.
- Are you exercising to be in better shape?
- Are you networking?
Just ask yourself the critical questions to figure out who you are, what you want, and how you will get there, and then you will be on your way to finding yourself.