“Shit!” That is what you say when the dread takes over as you look around your room and see exactly where your decisions lead you. You are the person that loves your life that could change one or two things, or you are the person that can throw half of your life away. How did you get here? You know exactly how you got there, but you avoid the truth that it is your damn fault. You could analyze your choices and forgive yourself and look towards the future because you decide if you’re going to stay where you are, or you want to change your situation.
They say everything that you go through is for a reason. How else will we as human beings evolve? We choose to think that our failures are just failures, but they teach lessons for our evolution as human beings. Perception is everything. How we choose to view things in our daily lives is essential because it puts us in a mood and sets our attitude for the entire day. For example, fear can mean, “Forget everything and run,” or “Face everything and rise.” The choice is up to you. Therefore, when looking into your past, look at it from fresh eyes because you are not who you used to be.
Take an audit of some of the things that did not go right for you and ask yourself questions.
- What was the problem or issue you had to face? Sometimes we don’t even know the problem or issue because we are too emotional. Other times, you will realize it takes time for people to acknowledge the problem or a third party to flush it out. Whatever the issue is, when you can acknowledge that there is an issue, there is a problem. Identify the main problems and subsequent problems because of your actions and reactions.
- What were the steps you took to solve your problem? We don’t recognize what we do to make it over to the other side toward happiness. Even if it means blocking someone on your phone and permanently deleting their number, don’t be ashamed of it if that is what you must do—or calling your manager at work because a customer is disrespectfully screaming at you. You know your attitude and what you are capable of, therefore calling your manager might be the best decision at that moment. Therefore, we recognize the growth that came from the lesson and acknowledge the displayed pattern of weakness.
- What were some of your habits or behaviors you can see now that could have prevented the issue in the first place? We all have that silent inner voice that tells us that we need to do this, and we need to do that, that we ignore. Because we put ourselves into a state of depression, or we get into this lazy mode and keep putting things off to the next day. We cannot go back in time and change our behavior, but we can take note to change our actions and behaviors for the next issue we face.
- What future do you want? Many of us haven’t even decided what we want in our future, and we are just giving it up to chance—applying for any job that will hire us—dating because we don’t want to be alone. We put ourselves in situations we don’t need to be in instead of taking the time to figure it out! Where is your vision board?
- What are your strengths and weaknesses? Our past experiences come with strong characteristics and weak characteristics we are improving. Take note because these are some motivating factors that will keep you pushing to achieve your goals.
- Do you have other goals you want to accomplish? Create another plan once you achieve your goals. It is good to tackle one goal at a time, therefore keep a list of your goals, so when you complete one goal, you are on to the next, which you can use this experience to conquer your next goal.
When I think about all the choices I made since high school until now‒I would say, hell no to that! I’ve been walking around fearful and confused for a long time. All I can do now is keep working on my future and lead by example. Muhammad Ali states, “What you’re thinking is what you’re becoming.” I’ve been trying to live life in a fantasy land, not wanting to face my fears and just settling, unhappy. I couldn’t even face myself; therefore, I manifested the life I wanted for myself. But there were bigger things, a more extensive plan that I wasn’t unaware of but recognize now. If you wish to accept it or not, all our lives interconnect in one way or form. Sometimes shit happens because shit must happen, and you must prepare yourself.
Keep note that your focus on your past should not be a constant aspect of your life, where you are living in constant doubt, second-guessing yourself. Keep your future in the forethought of your mind as you Speak positivity and act. Our mouth and our thoughts are mighty weapons. Your past is a tool to be used, then released‒no lingering around.