Have you ever been on a roller coaster? It goes up, down, around, and even sideways like our emotions. As human beings, we are emotional beings that get bent out of shape when we don’t get what we want. Yes, we all know what is meant for you will find its way to you. Therefore, there is no need to worry. We tell ourselves this all the time, but we are flawed creatures that live in impatience. Why? Because we feel like what is meant for us takes too damn long! And like a kid, WE HATE IT! These are our expressed feelings, and we have many others we need to sort out!
Forget the fact that there is a learning curve for everyone, which is why it’s a long process. But we are selfish creatures who want what we want now! Things that need to be done, babies, ideas, and careers need to be birth before you get what you want. We don’t think about the lives connected to us in one way or another. We still want what we want, making us feel a way when we don’t get it.
The problem comes when we hold our feeling in that it makes us sick, adds stress to the body, and increases blood pressure. We risk having a heart attack, upset stomach, and a slew of other issues. A lot of us know this, and with knowing this, we still do what we do.
Some good way to release our emotions is to talk to someone. Get it off your chest if you’re a friend, a family member, a pastor, a therapist, or a life coach. Do you know how many conversations I had and probably most women had about EVE? When that time of the month comes around, and those cramps kick in? Like Girl, what the hell you were thinking biting into that apple?
How will you resolve the problem that causes you to have these emotions? You cannot avoid or run away from your problems. Be upfront about your boundaries, fears, anxiety, etc., and find positive ways to resolve them. Make a plan, create a goal, and a time frame to complete it. Keep track of your process to know what is going well for you and what you still need to work on. Ask for help if you need help.
The important thing is that once you talk about what is bothering you, release it and let it go. We had plenty of conversations with people repeatedly about the same old thing. When friends and family get vulnerable, in their comfort zone, we tend to go to specific people we feel comfortable talking to. We do not realize we could be stressing them out or hindering our relationship or friendship. When I have enough, I don’t hesitate to tell my friends or family not to talk to me about your relationship. It’s not being mean; it’s about taking care of my mental health.
Sometimes all you need to do is write it out! Get a journal! You might think it’s only for kids, but it is a healthy way to balance yourself with talking to your friends and family members. Have your conversations with GOD through your journal. Write to yourself or that person you want to talk to in your journal only for your eyes to see.
Remember John Locke’s words of wisdom, “What worries you masters you.” Don’t allow anything negative, including your emotions take up space in your life. Don’t hand over the keys to your house so they can make it up in their image instead of your own. Figure out who you are and live accordingly.
Be attentive to how you express yourself; be assertive and positive. Many of us always talk negatively, affecting our mindset and keeping us in a dormant state when we want to be active. Instead, try accepting how you feel out loud with positive action. For example, “I’m a little nervous about tomorrow’s job interview, but I prepared myself for it.”
Listen─ Do not talk over the other person when in disagreement. Allow both parties to speak about your feelings. Repeat what you think the other party said, and state honestly how you feel. Notes that actions and behaviors can be changed. Instead of saying, you make me feel this way in your conversation, express the activity they are doing that makes you feel a certain way. Please don’t assume they should have known when day-to-day life is busy, full of deadlines, and schedules. If you haven’t clearly told them how you feel, they don’t know.
When talking, make sure you are not ridiculing or ignoring people’s feelings. People want to know they are heard and listened to. Ignoring or ridiculing people’s emotions can lead to dire consequences like cheating. There is always more underneath the surface when things happen in a relationship. The problem was never stated there and was an imperfect solution to an existing problem.
Don’t force the conversation when you or the other person is angry. Angry people cannot listen to your reasoning. Wait till later to have the conversation when they calmed down.
We are not perfect when it comes to expressing our feelings. We as human beings go through a range of emotions and incidents that make us rethink our we are reacting to our own and other people’s behavior. Robert Frost states, “Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.” We are continuously on the school road, educating ourselves. We don’t stop, not even for our emotions.