Forgive me! But sometimes that is hard to do because whoever said, “Stick and stones will break my bones, but words never harm me,” is not telling the truth. Words do hurt, and even unsaid words hurt. It hurts our egos and feelings and can damage relationships if you allow it. Some of us hold grudges for so long that it makes us bitter souls. Why not forgive and move on? Why keep hold of that bent-up emotion inside you? Don’t you know that if you don’t release it, it can cause so much damage to your body and mindset?
- It doesn’t matter who the person is; forgive because you will be surprised by how your relationships are affected. You must forgive and face the problem to fix what’s broken.
Tyler Perry States, “It’s not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place because it frees you.” It’s like taking a fifty-pound sack off your shoulders after you’ve been caring around for hours.
- You need to know that forgiveness brings the benefit of peace and the ability to move on and not be stagnant.
Why choose to forgive? According to the Oxford Languages Dictionary, the definition of forgiving is “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.” Think about the point of resentment over someone because they made a mistake or it’s who they are at that moment. In life, everybody is not supposed to be with you every step of your journey, so instead of holding resentment toward them, forgive and let go! Because it is clear as day that they still have some growing up and learning to do. So set them free so that they can discover what they need to know. Forgiveness is a choice. Either choose to forgive or choose to remain the same.
- Recognize that you are not anybody’s casualty of war. Don’t allow your emotions to hold on to you because the more you hold on to that grudge, your anger, resentment, and unwillingness to forgive. They control you
Think about the last time you were angry at someone. Have anyone refused to forgive you? You are the one that held a grudge. Your blood pressure probably increased, and you felt sick to your stomach. You probably became depressed. You might have started blaming yourself for the cause. You probably became angry and bitter while the person moved on. You stopped dating, or you might have stopped going to certain places all because they were there.
- Don’t allow your emotions to affect your behavior. Recognize your feelings and release them.
Sometimes you are so focused on what happened to you that you lose sight of what is happening around you. Don’t be the person who argues at their kid’s baseball game and misses their child hitting a home run because the parents are constantly arguing. We get so consumed with the who did what that we don’t hear each other speak. However, if you want not to be that bitter, angry, and resentful, you will have to change some things about yourself.
Practice listening to each other before responding and ensure you understand what they are trying to say, so you will not misinterpret what they are saying.
Sometimes when we are all in our feelings and only can see things from our perspective, we need to stop and try to see things from theirs. Take a few minutes, and do not immediately respond to what was said. A lot of us do this all the time. We come back to apologize because we realize what we said or done wasn’t right. Think about those moments.
Ask yourself what you would do. We don’t think about this enough, and we get mad at the person for acting a certain way when we might not be any different. Therefore, what would you tell yourself?
And undoubtedly, we all know that Jesus Christ forgave us for all our sins! But I wonder why we find it so hard to forgive people as he forgives us. We are not perfect human beings. We will piss some people off for us to grow because it is a part of the growing pains. We walk around, not realizing it will happen because it has to happen. But we don’t have to continue to carry it around like it’s our child, our baby! No Sir! No, Ma’am! Let it GO!
No one is perfect! Not you or me, just like people hurt you, you hurt people. Haven’t they forgiven you? If they did, why can’t you do the same thing? Think of Mother Teresa’s words, “If we want to love, we must learn how to forgive.”