What is holding you here? Living in one place for so long sometimes provides you with convenience and comfortability, leading you to maintain a false state of security because where you are doesn’t provide you with what you need. You live in fear of the unknown, which will keep you in the same place where you do not want to be. So, I ask again, “What is holding you here?” Did you know that your comfortability can be disastrous to your goals? You are meant to make mistakes, fall, and take risks because it builds up experience. Mistakes, risks, and chances open your eyes to new things and experiences. We are supposed to be absorbing life’s beauty, but we let it define us.

We grow up with this pre-defined notion of the things that are supposed to be essential to us. Our values and principles are all obscured and wrapped up in a box called the American Dream, but this dream is messy with rules that don’t apply to all.

In the back of our minds, we put it in our security box, not realizing our perception of what we call beautiful is what holds us back because we all want to be part of the in-crowd. We self-afflict harm to ourselves because we think we don’t measure up to what society says. We wake up and repeat the same mistakes every day as we drink our cup of coffee or tea. We tend to misinterpret the definition of beauty, mainly because of what society says is beautiful. India Arie says, “I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within.”

Beauty has been tied to privilege, wealth, and a person’s characteristics. In one spectrum, beauty is a tool used to make another group of people feel Inferior, and another group of people feels superior. Every day we allow our minds to be played with as the television gets turned on, and a magazine brought images on social media get displayed. Still, we need to look in the mirror and define beauty for ourselves at some point. We cannot keep pointing the finger at the people we invite into our homes. Scream, who gives an “F” what they think? Until it gets embedded in your head, and you see you. Acknowledge the beauty in you that flows outwardly and accept you are not perfect. There is no need to settle for less. Allow the awkwardness that lives within to be the light that drives you.

Get rid of the prestige state of mind that allows people to settle!

We get so comfortable settling for the bare minimum that we forget that there is life outside our home. We need to change our mindset when it comes to living life. Many of us are still sucking on our parent’s breast milk, wondering why we are unhappy.  Maya Angelou states, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ” Your perception of certain situations is what is holding you back.

Sometimes we deal with God’s hidden plan for us that we think moving back home is due to convenience and comfortability, but that is not always the case. Sometimes we choose to stay put because of the convenience and comfortability without realizing that comfortability and comfort have a price tag attached to them. Can you afford to stay comfortable and be convenient and live the way you want to live in the city? Sometimes that price tag is staying where you mean paying high rent. Sometimes it can be your peace of mind. Staying put might means things are comfortable and convenient for you. Still, with the stress that comes with family members, the aggravation of living in your neighborhood with a high crime rate, or the frustration of living in an apartment you can only afford is the price tag you’re paying.

By accepting and living a false state of security, you are settling. Unhappiness creeps up on you when you agree, sending you into depression or sadness. You have that inner feeling that something is not correct. Things are not going as planned for you. But….

You have to understand that this too shall pass!

This situation is not permanent.  Why allow whatever situation you are going through to mess with your mind and send you on a negative path.  Whatever you focus on, you will bring toward yourself, so focus on the positive.

Know your self-worth

Acknowledge and believe that you are good enough and just as valuable as anyone else. Do not let anybody make you think that you do not belong. Your value is not measurable in the eyes and words of others. Stand tall with confidence. Also, recognize the factors you might be measuring your self-worth with that could be affecting your life. According to positivepsychology.com, we measure our self-worth by our appearance, net worth, who we know or our social circle, our career, and our achievement.

You are in a race with yourself, not anybody else. Human beings evolve because who you used to be is not who you are right now─you have grown. So don’t settle for a false state of security because of your fears or society’s social status.

Who gives a damn what they think? Be the bright light in the crowd of grey people.