CULTURE AND RELATIONSHIP:  ARE WE TO BLAME THE TROUBLES WITH OUR RELATIONSHIPS ON TODAY’S CULTURES?

Hello, how are you doing? I am fine. Can I ask you a question? Do you cherish your relationships with others? Do you hold yourself in high regard? Do you respect yourself to get to know yourself? Why not look into the mirror and introduce yourself? It’s the foundation and the soil that allows you to blossom. Don’t you know your respect is the light in a dark room; it guides you and will enable you to see what’s in front of you. In front of you is a mirror with the other; you are looking back at yourself.  Do you also like what you see?

What do you say when a friend tells you they want out of their marriage? What do you say? Should we advise our friends when your life is as messed up as theirs?  Do you sit down and go through the good and bad with them? Do you listen? How is the communication? They have broken hearts. Words of wisdom may be misconstrued at this point because their emotions are high.  You do not even know if it is just their angry, emotional feelings talking because it is a good possibility that they will be back with her the next day or week. But I have one question for you, “Why allow yourself to break to the point of no return in your relationship?” Sometimes we want to try things out because it looks good or is exciting. We are the kid in the candy store with big eyes and enjoy as much candy as we can eat until our stomachs start hurting. We want the experience without checking in on ourselves and asking ourselves the tough questions.

Do you even recognize your faults, as well as theirs? No one is perfect. The problem in relationships is that people do not know how to deal with the truth, so we sugarcoat it, which does not help anybody. Truth hurts, Yes! But you can deal with the fact better than a lie.

Do you even know yourself or love yourself? When there are two people in a relationship, both are at fault because we want to please the other people so much that we lose ourselves. Every day you are growing and changing; therefore, you must continue date night, if possible, to get to know your changing partner.

Relationships work. Only you know when you are not appreciated and treated correctly. Some of us stop doing the work on ourselves and strictly focus on the relationship. First, you must figure out if the person is around for seasonal occasions or they are a life partner.

Are we to blame the troubles with our relationships on today’s cultures?

We have been living with coronavirus for two and a half years now. I once wondered what would happen when things went back to normal.  We are not back to normal, but we are close. Will life go back to the way it was? Back to living with American Culture, Black Culture, Cancel Culture, Church Culture, European Culture, African Culture, hip-hop culture, or whatever the background of your ethnic group is culture.  Are we going back to the guiltiness of the back skin, shoot first, and ask questions later? Are we going back to the brotherhood, sisterhood of the badge where innocence perseveres, no matter the guilt? Are we back to the broken check and balance system that bath in inequality, racism, injustice, and imprisonment?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines culture as “the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group. The characteristic features of everyday existence (such as diversions or a way of life) shared by people in a place or time.”

But, who are you, and what do you want in a relationship? You must know this before even entering a relationship. We are learning as we go, which sometimes can cause problems we do not know how to handle what happens next. We sometimes internalize our hurt, thinking something is wrong with us. When the only thing is flawed is you not knowing you.

Sometimes you must trip a couple of times to get the lesson, which is also okay.  Do not be afraid to start over. We get tired of our process when we enter these relationships, and we stay in relationships that are not good for us to avoid starting over. Take a break if you need a break to process what happened. When we enter a relationship, we tend to lose ourselves and make sacrifices to be there when we are walking toward a dead-end road. Is it a dead-end or just a fence you can hop over?  Note that every relationship you enter occurs to teach you something about yourself. Every relationship you enter is not supposed to be forever.

We don’t realize that what we learn throughout our lives is not the whole story; just like there are two sides to every story, there are also two-side to people. Maybe we need to adjust or unlearn what we know to survive because it isn’t working.

Think about all the things you consume in a day. Don’t you know your personality is in the process of being shaped during your consumption?  What you see, learn, and partake in influences who you are. Why is it so hard not to participate in the practice of discriminating culture? We have to take individual responsibility to choose something that goes against the grain, positive when what lies in front stands toxic and harmful.

We have to ask ourselves continuously in all aspects of our lives‒Is what I am doing, witnessing, or experiencing honorably serving me? If we ask ourselves this question, it will allow us to evaluate our choices and make changes, which will lead to follow-up questions, assessments, and fear-facing.  It is a part of your free will. Choose wisely.

Why does it seem like when you get to a certain level in your life, especially if you have a public image, people cannot make mistakes, and people are unable to be normal human beings.

Today, we measure success with what we don’t have or what we do have. We settle to pay the bills but is that the right choice for you. Some of us don’t get back to our passion because of what our current job provides, which is enough pay to get by. But do you want to get by?

Don’t just live to get by; live, and be bold.