Your guide to a purposeful tomorrow!



Have you waken up and taken Mary J. Blige’s Advice and said, “Good Morning, Gorgeous!” We forget that if you want to seek a positive, successful lifestyle, it starts with how you address and see yourself. Doreen Virtues states,

“Once you have a major success with assertiveness, you learn that it’s a much healthier path than being a doormat to the insensitive folks. You gain respect for yourself, have more time for your priorities, and develop authentic and healthier relationships.”

Have to ask yourself, where is that assertive person people keep talking about when talking to you? I look in the mirror sometimes in the morning and say, there you go. After I finish saying this affirmation that I found online, “I am free from self-doubt and filled with self-confidence.” But life is a test! Being assertive is a balance of communication and behavior. According to the Cambridge dictionary,” Someone assertive behaves confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe.” But it is also more than that,

But as you know, in day and age, everything you say can get misconstrued. You have to keep in mind that you have to:

  • Respect and stay true to yourself. Your needs are essential.
  • Advocate for your truth and always takes accountability for your actions
  • Staying true to yourself doesn’t require you to be unkind toward others or aggressive. Know who you are. What are your strength, weakness, and your boundaries?
  • Stop worrying about who likes you or who doesn’t.
  • Stop worrying about other people’s opinions if it doesn’t add value to your life.
  • The more assertive you are, the more self-confident you become.
  • Know you are in control of your life and how you react to what is being said or done. It is essential to understand that conflict will happen, and you do not need to always respond to it. Weigh your options and figure out is it worth it. What do you have to lose?
  • Don’t be afraid to say no to people. You cannot please or help everybody. Your mental health is essential.
  • Be okay with failing. Failure is a lesson learned.

Sometimes you have to shake the bad energy off when you are not assertive Check in with yourself because it can mean that you are delicate to criticism and rejection. You have a high degree of passivity, insecurity, anxiety, or low self-esteem, and this is why you are not where you thought you would be in life.

Life will get better once you figure out the areas you need to work on but first, take that first step. As time goes on, you will realize that you are more honest with yourself and others and more content with being open-minded and truthful with yourself and others. Being assertive is asking for what you want and aiding you in obtaining the things you need. For example, If you find yourself wanting a leadership job or to one day run your own company being assertive is a great strait to have.

One of the critical aspects of assertiveness is the capability to be less stressed. We as human beings tend to let things fester and build up until to break us down mentally or physically. Your assertiveness allows you to deal with those stressful situations as they arise. Some examples of stress that people take on are:

  • The rises in prices of everyday items are stressing 97% of people out (The American Institute of Stress, 2022)
  • 78% of adults felt like the coronavirus pandemic added stress to their lives. (The American Institute of Stress, 2022)
  • Fear of retaliation from Russia is stressing 80% of people out. (The American Institute of Stress, 2022)

These are high percentages of stress-related issues. Some things you can’t worry about, such as Russia’s retaliation. Do not drive yourself crazy thinking about possible scenarios. Sometimes you have to turn that damn Television off, turn off the news, and watch something else. When it concerns the coronavirus-related stress, take all the precautions you need to take to keep you and your family safe. It is all you can do. So don’t stress over it.

An assertive person will create a budget for themselves. Whatever you can afford, you buy; what you can’t afford, don’t! An assertive person will carpool or find a remote job, so they don’t have to travel as much. They will seek a solution to eliminate stress from their lives.

Some people don’t find their voice. So, don’t allow your voice, your true self be lost. Start small and practice finding your assertive self. Keep things plain and straightforward. Speak positively, but don’t let anyone sway you away from your stance, but make sure you understand their perspective before deciding anything. Note sometimes, the let go is your setup for you to move on. Be Assertive!

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