Raise your hand if you ever want to throw your alarm o’clock across the room or smash the mirror, dreading to go to work because of the daily stress, as you slowly drag yourself to the bathroom to take a shower. We go through this every day because it’s our reasoning for being miserable to be comfortable, to have food, shelter, clothes. We tell ourselves that some people have less; we should be grateful. But, we have not invested enough in ourselves to feel appreciative.
We are stressed because we don’t like our jobs. Instead of taking action and doing something about it. We continue the good fight and push along because we have bills to be paid. Don’t you know that stress, according to medineplus.gov, “is a feeling of emotional or physical tension? It can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous.” Why put yourself in line with “high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, depression, anxiety,” Release the stress. Sometimes you must ask yourself, what’s your problem with you? Or what does self-confidence mean to you? I would rather you be that confident mother***er that annoys everybody because his confidence is on a high. But, with love in your heart for others, of course! Do what you need to do to take care of yourself because self-love and self-care are essential to your life.
John Maxwell states, “If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured the world will not raise the price.”
Finding your self-confidence is about changing your mindset to something more positive that will push you into action. To deal with life because shit happens, and it happens daily. It’s that boost of confidence that will force you into making decisions, wake you up, and get to work. This change in your mindset will affect your career, family, and personal life because you will see the toxicity filling your house. So, open the door and release the toxic mess.
Ask yourself:
- What are your expectations for yourself?
- What’re some expectations from family and friends?
- How do these expectations serve you?
As parents, sometimes we add stress to our kids’ lives. We tell our kids to study when they are about to get tested to take some exams. It’s not the end of the world, but if you want to get into the right college, those test scores might matter. What happens when you don’t test well? What happens to the kid that keeps trying and trying to succeed but never seems to get there? You become content with just getting by. Yes, some of us are surviving, dealing, coping, struggling, or whatever you want to call it, with success. But what is success in the minds of the people, the American Dream? The “A” Dream is wrapped up in an illusion of contradictions as if we all are blind tourists visiting the new world. Why stress over it?
Education ‒ history and lessons wrapped in versions pulled together to drain your pockets. Use it to better your life. There are a variety of different ways to be educated.
Equality ‒ A set of rules for the society that appear to make people believe we all have the same rights under the law, but then again, whose being mass incarcerated and killed, the black and brown skin people.
Liberty ‒ is freedom, but with the history of slavery in America and the rise of the criminalization of the black man, black neighborhoods, and black households. It’s all an illusion, like the
Opportunity is the circumstances put in place with promises. If you work hard and keep on working, they say. However, they don’t prepare you for the institutional setbacks in place because of someone’s arrogant idea of superiority.
So, what do we do?
- Confront the contradictions, but don’t let them consume you.
- Set life values for yourself.
- Make sure the risks you take are worth the sacrifice.
- Don’t just hustle for someone else every day without working on your foundation. Think black wall street.
You can ask yourself, “how many licks does it take to get to the center of the tootsie roll lollipop?” Or you can ask, “what is it going to take for me to wholeheartedly be happy, without the mental, emotional, or physical abuse from society, myself, and others?” What question do you see?
We peel back the layers of our skin, trying to get to the center of the lollipop, to the sweet stuff because that is what we want, and that’s what we choose to do. While telling yourself, this one piece of candy won’t hurt. I’ll worry about the consequences later- it’s always later until it’s not. We set our mindset to channel negativity every day, multiple times of the day. We make sacrifices, decisions for temporary fixes, and wonder why we wake up, not wanting to wake up to the life we created for ourselves.
When you walk by the mirror in the morning, smile at the person looking back and be happy. Stand in the mirror and say, “I love you,” because every time you look at the person in the mirror and do a little “ugh” with a slight roll of the eye. You are expressing dislike for yourself. You start examining your body, sucking in your stomach, looking at your backside. Do you know that some of your problems extend from the confidence level you have for yourself?
Make a list of the “good” expectations and ways to achieve them and a separate list of the ones that bring stress and cause drama in your life. If they are not making your life any better by keeping them around, get rid of those expectations. Why continue to stress yourself out over someone else expectations. Living life is overcoming a continuous string of hurdles for you to learn, evolve, and move on – not stress!