Have you ever considered where your life is headed? Are you going in the right direction? It doesn’t matter the age you are. We all want a better life experience. Wished we could have done this or that when we were younger. You could be in your late 60s, just been forced to retire, or about to retire on your recognizance. You could be in your 40’s, 30’s, 20, or 18 years old, about to embark on your journey toward adulthood. You feel as stuck or lost as the other person in their 40s does, and you don’t know what is next for you. Who brilliant idea was it to set the adult age at 18 years old anyway? Not everybody is ready for that stage in their life. Personally, I have moments where I love being an adult, but then it’s those days when I wish I could still be a kid again and didn’t have to worry about the bills I need to pay—things I need to start doing to change my life. Time waits for no one. I already wasted enough time I could have been further in life. But I had some growing up to do, so the man above took me on a detour.
Think about the things you thought you knew, about could learn more about to better yourself. We get drilled every day to eat healthy because if we don’t, there are risk factors that we will have to deal with consequently in our life.
- Like our bodies, we have to cater to our mindset to achieve a better life experience. It will help you recognize what is working for you and what is working against you.
People say Junk food is not suitable for you, but it tastes so good. Sometimes you don’t want that home-cooked meal; sometimes, your ass wants a burger and fries for McDonald’s. You know it is terrible for you, but you eat it anyway. We take on a lot of things that are bad for us, and we wonder why and blame the man above, knowing that we are the blame. You have to shed and shift your negative perspective to a more positive one.
- We have to put ourselves first and get comfortable trying not to please everyone. Just say, “No,” your mental health is more important than other people’s aspirations, and sometimes even your own.
How will you achieve that better life experience if you don’t check yourself on occasion? We need to be checked because we pushed ourselves so much that we put more weight on subsequential things like our career money that alienates our family and friends. We need to maintain that work-life balance for ourselves. Hang out with our friends family members, go on vacations, and dinner dates, commit to self-care days. Lastly, clock out at five and let work stay at work.
- Set your limits for you and others to follow.
Real friends and respected family members will understand when you are standing up for yourself to be mentally healthy and prepared to succeed in life. There is a difference between the people who are encouraging you because they know you can do better and people who are using you, abusing you, controlling you, jealous of you, etc. Those people you can leave behind are on a different path that is not yours.
- Audit your life and make the necessary exchanges to better provide yourself with self-care.
If you haven’t already, you want to consider a life audit to identify and acknowledge what you need to change to achieve this better life experience. Instead of working two jobs, look for a better job with a better salary or a different position. Update your skills to be qualified, so you don’t have to be tired all the time. Seek a better work-life balance. Recognize the distinction between someone saying they are busy and but not productive. You can be busy washing clothes, running errands, and doing many things, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you are productive in achieving the goals you set for yourself. For example, Figure out how much time you spend watching TV, scrolling on social media, and not taking responsibility for your actions. And do an exchange for something better. Maybe scroll for 30 minutes, and they read for an hour. Instead of binge-watching that television show, work on one of your goals.
- Keep looking ahead toward your future.
Our past teaches us about ourselves, our tolerance levels, and our perception of certain things, if it’s our own or led by somebody else’s way of thinking. You have to attain the knowledge that you learn and move on. Move on from people, places, negative thoughts, and habits. Acknowledge why it’s not good for you and leave it behind.
- Expand your mindset by educating yourself by reading motivating, inspiring, and educational books.
Nowadays, we waste so much time on social media and other things we are not productive. We are distracted by social media, so we don’t focus on current events. We spend so much money sending our kids to school for an education, and they have to read history books and other inspiring books. Education should not stop at school, and this is a habit that needs to be ongoing to expand your mindset. We all know that the education system lesson plan has to be approved by the board ofducation, which means things can be left out. Our minds get shaped by what we are told to read, but I learned what ones say in one story isn’t necessarily the whole truth—for example, the riots of the Tulsa Race Massacre of 1921 written by Ida b. Wells formed a more in-depth reporting of what happened than what was written in the New York Times at the time. But how was I supposed to learn about that because her articles weren’t in my history books? I had to go to school, minor in African American studies, come across a teacher that felt her students needed to read that article.
- End the self-rejection.
The most dangerous thing that a lot of us do is self-rejection. WE take away our own power because of what someone else thinks, what we believe about ourselves, but we are quick to admire a total stranger when the story is inspiring and good, but we struggle to pay ourselves the same respect. We need to do the things we are scared of regardless, not only to conquer our fears, but we cannot succeed without risk.
This better life experience is a journey we wake up every day to begin again and choose again if things don’t work out. There are no right or wrong answers, and they are just lessons on discovering self.