What has your ego done for you lately? Is the question we should be asking ourselves, but we don’t. We just go about acting and behaving the way we see fit. Until our eyes are open, and we realize maybe, just maybe we let our ego get the best of us. Therefore I ask you, what is ego? Author Thibaut Meurisse states, “Ego is neither good nor bad, it’s just a result of a lack of self-awareness. It fades away as you become aware of it since Ego and awareness cannot coexist.” But there are still negative and good characteristics your Ego is associated with – Do you think most of us feel about our Ego as this conceited side that thinks and knows we are better, we deserve that, or we should be number one? Our Ego feeds our subordinate attitude and our dislike for ourselves when we think about it. We allow our Ego to tap into our perception of ourselves (our successful self) to stop us from achieving our goals. We get jealous of friends that succeed when we need to celebrate—forgetting that there is room on the table for everyone.
If you don’t check your Ego, it can get in the way and damage friend and family relationships. Because apologies sometimes escape your mouth. Sometimes you are too blind to see the wrong in your actions. Our Ego is also a protection mechanism we place on ourselves. Like ourselves, there is a good side to us and a relentless, wicked side. There can be no up without down because it goes hand in hand. Our healthy Ego is full of self-love and self-awareness. But the unhealthy Ego is the vanity side of us, as I previously discussed.
Have you ever noticed some things you say, especially when you need a job? You are the “I am not working at McDonald’s, no that is not the job for me. Or you are the I am not working at a retail store, and it’s a job for teenagers.” What is wrong with taking that retail job as a cashier at any age? It is a strategy mechanism. If you change the way you think, you will change your life. Looking at specific bank jobs, they will ask you for one year of cashier experience. Therefore, that job as a cashier is just one foot in the door of the career you seek. But we cannot make the sacrifice because we feel we are better than that.
I am all about positivity. Yes, sometimes I fall short because I am human. These are some of the things I am doing to stop myself from feeding into that the negative side, my unhealthy Ego:
- Mind your thoughts and remove any negative and limited narratives from your minds. Sometimes we need to take notice of what we are saying. When explaining our point of view, we usually point the finger toward the other person or situation in anger, frustration, or displeasure. We zone in on the negative when there is no reason to. If you don’t mind your thoughts, those negative thoughts turn inward at yourself sooner or later.
- Be mindful of the reality and perception of the situation. Have you ever noticed some of the things you say or your behavior when things are not going your way? We get so frustrated sometimes and worry about things we cannot change. For example, we leave ten minutes early to get to work on time, but when we get on the bus, we run into traffic. Why get frustrated? Just enjoy the ride. Tomorrow leave twenty minutes earlier to see if that works. Don’t worry if it is not in your power to change the situation for the better positively.
- Find positivity in every situation. Every case you face has a positive spin, so look toward the positive to keep your mind from swaying toward the negative. It makes no sense to dwell on what went wrong repeatedly because sooner or later, you will realize you spent too much time focusing on that negative one thing. You are still in the same place because you chose to take no action and move on.
- Be honest about what matters and let go of the things that don’t matter. Being upset about something, people, or situations that don’t matter to us weighs us. Do you care about someone you met two seconds ago that ghosted you? No! Find your true friends and the people you can depend on, and figure out what morals and principles you believe in and everything else you can let go of if it doesn’t matter to you!
- Be mindful of the effort of things instead of the results. We already know we all need to make money to survive, but don’t make money your primary focus. Focus on what you can do for people (their needs.) It will lead you to your purpose.
- Think and act like you are living, and stop wandering around in a dead zone. Stop waiting on the perfect time to act or get things off your chest. Speak your mind! Just do it, as Nike says. Be proactive! Make use of your time to discover, comprehend, and take action. If you want to evolve as a person and find out who you are, you have to experience life, get to know people, go different places, and learn other things. You are not going to grow locked up in your house doing five to ten years. Even criminals get outdoor time.
Yes, be who you are. Self-aware and full of self-love, but like Oprah Winfrey says, “Here’s the gift of gratitude: In order to feel it, your Ego has to take a backseat. What shows up in its place is greater compassion and understanding.” Fill yourself with gratitude.