Deborah Bull, a broadcaster, writer, and English dancer, states, “Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words,” Think about how a baby lets their parent know something is wrong. All the tantrums, crying, fake crying with no tears, and dancing when they are happy, to name a few. If you have a child, siblings, nieces, nephews, or little cousins, you have seen all the body language babies use that you probably think are cute because of their innocence. But once that child is no longer a child, body language sometimes makes you wonder. We believe we are paying attention.
But are you really paying attention? We all have moments when we do not say what is on our minds, sometimes out of fear, frustration, selflessness, anger, and love. We get caught up in the day-to-day routine that we barely have time to take a moment even to say hello!
Are you that person whose stuff always flies over your head? Especially when a person tells you that they like you, and you’re like, since when! And then, they respond to you, and I’ve been sending you clues. Then you get that aha moment as your mind thinks back. Many of us don’t pay attention to what someone’s body language says. Especially since we listen with our ears and talk with our mouths, they will never know if you’re not verbally taking that risk and telling someone how you feel.
So, I ask, should you start paying attention to what people say out of their mouths and body language. Your body language allows others to know how they feel and the importance of what you are feeling. Also, it does the same thing for you.
Maybe the question is not, are you really paying attention, but do you care?
Many of us automatically associate people who show negative body language with problems because they are disconnected, indifferent, or dissatisfied. Especially when you see individuals that:
- Have their arms folded
- The littlest or uneasy facial expression
- They have their body turned away from you
- They don’t maintain eye contact with you. They are looking down.
Other negative body language includes nail baiting, which expresses stress or insecurity. Locked ankles express anxious thoughts. Rapid blinking lets people know that you are uncertain or concerned about something. Tapping or drumming fingers shows that you are bored or impatient. When fidgeting, you tell people that you are indifferent about something, and maybe your mind is preoccupied with something else.
With this information at the forefront of our minds, we may be more a communicator as human beings. I ignore what my body language portrays to other people. I know I fold my arms in front of me when I am nervous or feel like I have nothing else to do with my arms.
You also have to stay out of your head and away from your assumptions because other people can make you feel or express certain things because of how put together they seem, but again I ask, are they really put together?
Have you ever been in a meeting, and someone walks in well dressed, and their hair and makeup look good; therefore, you start fidgeting and fixing your clothes because now you feel insecure. Because maybe you don’t have the latest fashion, or you think you don’t look as good as they do. These are the moments when you need to get out of your head!
You need to figure out what it will take to get you more confident and happier so that no one can make you feel insecure. People see happiness, trust, and interest in you—these characteristics in your posture, firm handshake, constant eye contact, and smile. Watch people when they are talking to you; if they are constantly touching or scratching their face, it shows that they might be lying.
We do many things when we are nervous about something or when we know our actions might not be on the up and up. If you know your actions are not on the up and up, walk away from whatever it is because the mental weight and pressure you will put on yourself alone will be too much. Whether you believe it or not, Karma comes around and bites hard.
And know that, “Your energy introduces you before you even speak,” So be positive.