What is your definition of success? This is a question I asked one of my clients because many of us think of success as the tangible things we desire. Success is present to cultivate your life and create a variety of possibilities for you. But instead, people place barriers around themselves when they say things like I will succeed when I get the car, the house, or that dream job when they need to keep to doors of success open.
My client had this limiting frame of mind but soon realized their mindset had to change. Success for my client became being able to finish what she started. My client needed to become consistent. We tend to focus too much on the luxury that success brings us, but that is not success. According to the dictionary of oxford languages, success means “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” We are glamoured by what we see accomplished people have, but that is not success. That is just the reward success allowed them to have because of their hard work. The purpose or aim that they set out to achieve gave them success. It doesn’t matter how big or small your goals are if you achieve them. You are successful. So when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself, “you are successful.” Keep telling yourself every time you feel doubtful.
But, remember, I said, my client, needed to become consistent. You need to be consistent and have a positive frame of mind. You cannot be positive in your definition of success and negative in another aspect of your life. Take a moment before you speak. When you don’t measure up to other people’s success, it is easy to speak down on yourself. I watch Myron’s golden YouTube channel, and he says you need to have a product business to make a million dollars, which I agree with. What came to mind for my client because of her success story was a book.
If you say you can’t produce a book because you don’t have your ultimate long-term end goal, that is not the frame of mind you need to have. It is okay that you haven’t received your ultimate long-term end goal because that will take time, but your product is your experience. You are not the person you used to be. How did you get where you are right now? How did you get to work with the person you already worked with and still are working with? Your frame of mind can be blocking you from your ultimate long-term end goal, and you don’t even know it because you feel like you are not there yet to motivate and teach anybody. I am here to tell you, you are! You have to work with what you have, which includes your experience.
If you conquer some obstacles, you are successful. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, including your negative side. However, if you are having trouble feeling successful, work on these things:
1. Your mindset must be open to growth and change. Understand that things are evolving daily; therefore, you must adapt to the times. If you have to learn new skills, book that class. Also, understand that there are no failures in life; it is just a learning experience. If it didn’t happen to you yet, you have to ask yourself, are you ready? Do you have the skills to do this? Do you have the confidence? Because if you don’t believe you can do it, why should anybody believe you are good for the job? Know that your experience and hard work will get the job done.
2. You must have the ability to control one’s emotions and understand other people’s emotions. Make sure you are aware of your emotions at all times, especially when things are bothering you. Don’t brush it to the side. Figure out what is bothering you and why it is bothering you. What happened that stirred up those feelings? Be objective and look for positive ways to deal with your emotions. Be able to hear other people’s perspectives and ideas, not just your own. Tune in on what they are not saying out of their mouth. Their facial expression and body language sometimes say more than what flows out of their mouth.
3. Be mentally robust and intrinsically motivated. Practice positive motivational self-talk to build up your confidence and belief in yourself. Even when things are not going as planned, keep working at it. Remember, there is no such thing as failure, only lessons. Make sure you check in on your mental health and self-care. Tune into what your body is trying to tell you. And lastly, look for opportunities that will expand your mindset, educate you, and challenge you because our ultimate purpose is to know who we are. The only way we can do that is through experience. So, take control, and don’t fear competition because there is none. Change your mindset to see that they are here to help the people connected to their purpose, and so are you.
4. Self-disciplined is key. You must eliminate any distractions or know when to use a distraction to your advantage for you to achieve your goal. For example, watching TV while working on one of your goals is a distraction. But, taking a break to watch one of your shows when you realize you are getting frustrated and upset is a distraction you can use. A one-hour break might allow you to get your creativity flowing again. You also must understand that being mentally robust takes time, so practice it. Create small goals for yourself—schedule break times in your daily routines.
5. Make sure your goals are attainable. Don’t set unrealistic broad goals because you know you are not disciplined enough to achieve them. You have to be specific and start with the basics in your goal setting. For example, If you know you do not wake up early in the morning to exercise. Don’t set a goal to get up early in the morning for a 30-minute workout. You also know you can’t do it at home after to work because you have to cook, make sure the kids do their homework, and so forth. So, try setting a goal to work out 30 minutes to an hour after work at the gym for three days out of the week. Make sure you reward yourself when you accomplish your goals. Feel the joy it gives.
6. Ensure you don’t exhaust yourself and have a breakdown. Implement self-care strategies so you will not exhaust yourself. Ensure that you receive a good amount of sleep. Try to eat healthily and eliminate any stress you might have from your life. Exercise, if you can’t get to the gym, take a nice walk through the park. Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to accomplish too many goals at once. Work on achieving one goal at a time.
7. Make sure the people that are you are positive, loyal, and honest. The people you have around you are essential to your development. You have to feel that you are supported and that people care. If there is no family or close friends, get a life coach or a mentor. Know that receiving the emotional support you need allows you to feel a sense of self-assurance, encouragement, and compassion to deal with any difficulties you arise. The people around you can provide you with help and advice if they are knowledgeable. They should be able to aid you to keep pushing toward your goals and help you improve your confidence level.
8. Align yourself with characteristics associated with top-rated potential.
- You have not only to be curious but creative. Don’t be afraid to learn new things; be inquisitive about the world around you and relate it to your interest. Get creative with things and think out of the box. You have to be conscientious. Know that everything has a cause and effect, including your actions. Therefore, be aware of your actions and other people’s perspectives that you might have to think about.
- You have to be able to accept uncertainty. Life is uncertain, and you never know what is going to happen or what is going to change. You must be in the business to challenge other people’s perspectives and your own. Don’t fear what is not known because, at one point in time, everything had a beginning where it wasn’t known to the masses until it was. Be able to respect people’s differences.
- Be able to adapt. We cannot get around the fact that shit happens. You have to keep a positive and open mindset, see the lesson, and see the opportunity to change. Sometimes the only way to see a different perspective is to take a step b so that you can take two steps forward.
- Be courageous. Be courageous enough to take risks. The problem with many of us is that we settle and don’t take enough risk even to see if it works out. How will you be successful if you don’t muscle enough courage to, for example, take the first step in starting your business? Which could be just researching the type of business you want to start. Note that with risk, you have to use your command sense. Weigh your options. Be courageous enough to ask yourself the tough questions. Be courageous enough to have that sit-down with your family so they can be aware.
- Be curious, competitive, and resilient. It’s good to be competitive. It drives some people toward success. But remember that to succeed; you must stay in the fight. You have to be resilient. So, don’t allow other people’s success to get you to don’t and believe you are not good enough. They are here to serve a group of people, and you are here to serve a different group. Everyone has people tied to their purpose, so celebrate their success. Stay in the fight. Be curious enough to expand your mindset, network, and learn new things. Your curiosity is your brain seeking knowledge and information. It is telling you it wants to know more. So, embrace it.
Success has different levels and stages in life. You will talk about the level you are on to help the people who haven’t even started yet and are not on your level but are still looking for that inspiration. And make sure you celebrate the small successes and the big ones. Think about all the obstacles you were able to conquer. That is a success in itself, so celebrate them. Take a piece of paper and write down all the obstacles you have gotten down, so you can remember that if you can conquer that, you can conquer anything else that comes your way!