What Makes Quietness And Space Overwhelming For Some People?

I recently heard a thought-provoking quote from Pastor John Gray: “Some people don’t like space because the silence is too loud.” This resonates deeply, as it speaks to those who avoid solitude, unwilling to confront the truths that surface in the quiet. It’s often a sign of someone reluctant to face their struggles or take a hard look at what they might need to work through.

When we are alone, we tend to think, analyze, and often overanalyze our lives. We lie in our beds, scrutinizing everything we believe is wrong with ourselves because nothing is distracting us. It’s essential for your mental health, whether you are in a relationship or single, to take some time alone. In relationships, our egos can be uplifted, distracting us from our thoughts. We may feel content until something disrupts that happiness.

But in this fast-paced society, the daily survival that we all have to go through sometimes cannot be avoided. Therefore, some people like the comfort they feel from the quietness and the space they are given to feel this. However, there are other people who don’t feel comfortable with the quietness and the space they are given. It gives them more anxiety than comfort. But why is this the case? Because they don’t want to deal with the person in the mirror.

We want to be in relationships so our ego can be uplifted. We become distracted from our thoughts, issues, or trauma. We are complacent and happy until something disrupts that happiness. Sometimes, we convince ourselves that we can’t be that flawed because we are in a relationship, not realizing we are ignoring those parts of ourselves that haven’t healed. As a result, some people may sink into depression when they don’t have a partner. Sometimes, we even have to trick our minds and tell ourselves we are in our “solitude era” because we are learning, praying, discovering, listening, and loving ourselves. We are becoming who we truly are. I do this often. However, when we label ourselves as lonely or alone, it becomes easy to slip into a depressive state of mind.

All of us need to maintain a positive mindset. I’m going through this right now, just like one of the characters in my book, Tracie. I feel lonely, and I don’t like it. But I’m also in my solitude era, and I love it. Tracie, on the other hand, is having a difficult time because she hasn’t been alone for 35 years.

After five kids and 35 years together, it comes down to, “I don’t want to be with you, but since you’re here, allow me to sleep with you. I cannot make love to you because I don’t love you anymore. So, let’s put on our best makeup until the kids are gone into the world. Maybe we’ll get it right, or perhaps we won’t by then. At least we can say the sex was good,” Tracie’s husband says to her.

We often allow society to dictate what we should achieve by a certain age, and when we haven’t reached those milestones, we think something is wrong with us. The simple answer is that it’s just not your time to have those things because other life events need to occur first. For example, you can’t drive a car without first learning how to drive. It’s important to be proactive during your solitude era. Journal, take walks, exercise, and focus on self-improvement. Re-evaluate your life and tackle some of the things you’ve been putting off. Slowly, you will realize that the space you’ve been dreading and the quiet you fear isn’t as bad as you thought. Maybe you’ll hear God’s voice more clearly now. You may have been avoiding it before, as God was trying to tell you to walk away from a person or job, to wait. But you did what you felt you had to do, and now you must deal with the consequences of your choices—free will!

Next time, take a moment to relax, volunteer, or pick up a new hobby!