Where are you on your self-discovery journey? Have you ever encountered someone who unknowingly made you aware that you must be comfortable with yourself? There is no reason to justify or explain why you are the way you are. For example, I might not be all churchy or religious, but I have some religious values. And that is okay. I strive to be more spiritual. There are occasions when in life when you are in learning mode or when you are in a teaching moment. It would be best if you were okay with who you are. I’ve been bending and people-pleasing for far too long. There is a time in your life you have to stop people-pleasing. The people in your life must bring some value to your life if they don’t let them be. We go through things wanting different things for ourselves, and we bend in the hope that we get what we want instead of being who we are. I don’t want the representative you. I want the real you. I don’t want the representative me to stand in protection mode. I want the real me to be strong and okay with whom I discover who I am.
According to Betterup, self-discovery is “the process of understanding your true self: your values, your needs, and wants, even what foods you like and dislike.” This past weekend, I was asked what you bring to the table. In answering that question, I started describing who I was. If you wanted to enjoy the ride and get to know me, I brought myself to the table because I might be a different cup of tea. But quality time with me is the only way you’ll figure it out. And I am okay with it going either way! This is me standing tall and proud!
I am in my mid 40’s; I am on this self-discovery journey, which looks like this:
- Find a mentor, life coach, or therapist to help you on your self-discovery journey. We cannot do it alone, although many think they can. At some point, to become the better version of ourselves, we need to find a person that been there before. We need people we can trust, talk to, and who keep us on track with our goals.
- Sometimes, you need to be by yourself. It is nice to be in a relationship. Still, it would be best to reflect on what led to that breakup, keep your priorities in order, and take time to do different things that make you happy. And figuring out what makes you happy is part of self-discovery—getting out of the house to get some fresh air, picking up a hobby, expanding your mind by reading, or taking an online class. You never know where your next relationship might come from if you don’t take the time to heal and work on yourself.
- Challenge yourself to try and experience different things. Many of us are in a rut, doing the same old thing every day, and we wonder why we feel trapped. We must challenge ourselves to gain new experiences, hobbies, and favorite things to do or eat. If you like it, you can do it again. If you don’t, don’t do it again. Now, there are certain things that I am just not into, and that is okay. For example, I am not adventurous enough to bungee jump or anything of that nature. But I don’t mind flying now, I used to be scared to fly, but now I am okay with it. I take my butt to sleep. I remember enjoying camping when I was young, so I wouldn’t mind doing that.
- Try Meditation. Meditation is a technique that requires you to concentrate on a specific item, concept, or activity to attain relaxation and inner peace. Mediation benefits your physical and mental health, including minimizing stress and anxiety, and it develops your focus and concentration ability while assisting your emotional well-being. And mediation provides you with the best sleep you ever had because that is what your body needs.
- Help others. They say life’s purpose is to become whom we are while serving others. Others can be society, our family, friends, and our community. While we are helping others, we are helping ourselves to become who we are. It’s a self-discovery journey, and helping others allows us to learn, teach, and discover our strengths and weaknesses.
- Write in your journal. Writing a daily journal allows you to reflect on your day and week. Issues with yourself and others, question things, and find the answers you seek. ? when you are too upset to talk, and you know what you want to say will not come out right if you write it down, you can explain it better and read it to your partner later.
- Discover which talents of the mind I enjoy and don’t enjoy. Just because you might be good at something doesn’t mean you enjoy it. Most of the time, when we go to work, we work in careers o pay the bills. We all heard, “You have to love what you do,” It is a common saying, but it is a fact! So, why not pick an industry you want to get involved in and do data entry or something simple until you work up to the position you want?
- Envision your future self. Like the quote on my t-shirt says, “I am more than what I am, more than what you see,” you have to envision your future self. What are you like and become that person? You have to see yourself, in your mind, as that Boss B*tch! Or whomever you envision and become that person.
- Do not take life for granted because self-discovery is ongoing and doesn’t stop. Every day you are blessed to wake up is another day to begin again and discover something new about yourself. So meet people, taste different foods, and visit different places and countries because you might like the oddest thing. Know that taste and people change according to their livelihood. What you used to like might not be what you like now.
- Beware of your energy because it attracts people toward you. Make sure you know your behavior and actions toward other people because you attract certain kinds of people into your life from the energy you put out. Have you ever wondered if what you attract is because of the energy that you put out? The people in your life let you know in some way or form what type of person you are. For example, positive people have joyful people in their lives. At the same time, you might be the enabler if you find yourself around people with narcissistic personalities. So check yourself.
- You are not your thoughts. We go through moments where we feel or think a certain way because of a situation. We all have an off day sometimes where we get a little too loud, sarcastic, angry, etc., but it’s just something passing by, so don’t let it define who you are.
- There are many things we want to do and accomplish in this life. Create a checklist for yourself so that you experience and live life instead of Living joyously through someone else’s life. As you do, the should of, could of, because you kept deciding to put things off tomorrow. Take heed of the things you complete on this checklist shaping your wants and dislikes and discovering more within each activity about who you are.
Psychiatrist M. Scott Pack stated, “Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.” You cannot get back time; therefore, your time is precious. You cannot rewind time, although many of us wish we could. So, If I spent my time discovering who I am, being me, which is time well served.